did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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