I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
