was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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