The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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