they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
