its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
