sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
