So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
foreskin is a definite game changer
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
