i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
