How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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