Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
