I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
