I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
