i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
