We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
