Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
