youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I need water and some morals
Randomize
