There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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