Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
