That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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