when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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