arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
