Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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