We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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