oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
