Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
