Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
