I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
