didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
