How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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