So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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