i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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