How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
