please come you make the beer taste better
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
