She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
