so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
