he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You pole danced in your parka.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
