I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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