i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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