Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
