took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
