Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
