Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
