What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize