I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
