Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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