it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
