I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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