Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I FOUND THE LEGS
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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