If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
only you would photoshop your dick
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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