Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize