THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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