i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
