how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
