I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
