this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
