I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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