Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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