it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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