My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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